Choosing Love: Living Beyond Love Restrictions

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To choose love as a primary way of being in the world is a powerful decision indeed. It is the ultimate choice of all choices that can bring about good health and carry you joyfully through every single aspect of life because of the pureness of its intention. When one becomes dedicated to this choice and devoted to love above all else, something miraculous takes place, the feeling of being complete arises as a continuous experience, something we have always been looking for.

Devoted does not mean loving in this moment and not in the next. Nothing can happen with this type of half effort. Maintaining inner love has to become more important than anything else to get results. When full effort is applied to lovingness as a way of being, a paradigm shift takes place, and the inner experience becomes delightful. What once was seen to cause suffering can now be witnessed as an opportunity to express oneself to his or her maximum potential of loving expression.

What if the unconditional love that a mother has for her children could be spread to the world? What an amazing domain it would be, safe and filled with compassion and protection. It starts with each individual to make the choice inside of him or her to be loving and kind for the sake of its own reward.

Why is it important to choose love? To be in the presence of love is to be in the company of God. When we love others, we give them a piece of God. Every single time you love another person, you are handing him or her a piece of God and giving him or her more power to grow his or her soul in the process of liberating and uplifting your own being. To choose love is to choose God.

Love Restrictions

Spiritual love wants to shine at each moment, but we prevent it with our love restrictions. So why do we put restrictions on our love? We know, if we exhibit love toward something, we will experience it, and it will feel good inside. So why do we hold our love back from certain people or aspects of life? It doesn’t make sense if we think about it in terms of maintaining a pleasurable inner experience. The only person from whom we end up withholding love from is only ourselves. By not loving outwards, we can’t experience it.

When we are born, we live solely on love. We can see a newborn child’s innocence in his or her eyes. He or she only wants to be loved and love back. As our inner children, we love because no reason tells us not to. That inner child is still in us and wants to burst out with joy, but we have to be willing to let it. The innocent child, once so alive and well in each of us, has been placed in the background for too long. It is begging us to release it from the prison we have held it in.

As we were exposed to the pressures and stressors of the world, we clearly moved farther and farther from our inner loving children. Now we are the colder adult. The love we send out becomes conditional, and we take on the belief system that you only send out love when there is a reason. We begin to put restrictions on our love based on perceptions—if they love me, if it is important enough to love, and so forth—and agree with ourselves to restrict our love to certain aspects and people in our lives. We create “love restrictions” and hold onto them with complete seriousness. Rules become involved in the simple act of loving something. Only when all of our predetermined conditions and expectations are met will we release love and experience its uplifting side effects.

Love restrictions become so dominant and controlling in our lives that we get to the point where it is almost impossible to experience real love. Most people only experience the inner feeling with family, some very close friends, and maybe a pet and withhold their love from everything and everyone else. People view love as something that is limited, as if there is a limited amount of it to go around so you have to choose wisely where you use it. This isn’t true. In fact, it is the opposite.

The more loving you become, the more love you have to give. Nevertheless, because the average human being is so picky and choosy with his or her love, there is a feeling that something is missing in his or her life, and the pursuit to fill the void begins. Material and glamorized lives become the primary goal in life in an effort to fill the missing feeling. The attempt to satisfy the inner experience with external toys and pleasure sources prevails in order to fill the hole created by the lack of love. The pursuit to find happiness and pleasure in the world dominates and replaces the always available inner spiritual love that is waiting to be released at each moment. Jesus Christ taught, “Seek the kingdom of heaven within.” In other words, seek the love within.

Everything you have been seeking to get in the world is only a black-and-white comparison of what can be obtained internally. Although it may seem like love is obtained externally, it is an internal and ever-present experience when unconditionally awakened. For example, we can see how we actually experience this feeling by just thinking about it. When someone loves you, do you feel what he or she is feeling inside and pick up on it and therefore feel good? No. So how do you feel love? Like everything, you only feel something if it is coming from you. For example, if someone is upset with you while driving home in his or her car, you don’t know he or she is upset with you. Just as well, if someone is loving you while driving home, again, you didn’t feel anything. In truth, we only experience the full powers of love when we are the one loving.

Many people feel like they have not been loved enough and therefore refuse to give their love to others. It is very sad to see when people feel like no one loves them because then they don’t feel like they have a reason to love either and the experience is restricted from their lives. It is true in the sense that some people seem to receive more love than others do as they grew up, but these factors are out of our control. Every person goes through the life experiences that will be best for his or her spiritual growth. No two life experiences can be compared. No matter how much love you have or have not felt up until this point does not change how much inner love you can feel in your life.

People feel lost when they don’t see anything worth loving in their lives. Fortunately, most people have some sort of outlet to release love like a pet, life partner, or family member, and this sustains their temporary well-being. Just having a few loving thoughts counteracts thousands of negative thoughts in a day and helps balance the system.

The majority of humanity has the mentality of always looking to get something from people. Stop trying to get something from people that they are unable to give you. Instead, become the giver. Instantly, the thought will arise, “Well, what’s in it for me?” When you give, you get what you give. So instead of being frustrated waiting for people to give you love, validation, and respect, give it to them instead. Give people love, validation, and respect, and they will most often than not respond the same to you.

When told to just love everybody, the usual response is “Yeah … right.” Attempting to love everyone is just too overwhelming. The love has to start from somewhere within us and grow. It is like a seed that sprouts and blossoms into a beautiful flower. First, simply love that you have life. Love that you are something. Then move to loving who you are as a person. See yourself as an innocent life-form worthy of love. Then extend that love to nature, maybe animals, because it is easier to see the innocence in them. Take one step at a time. Eventually when you are comfortable with your inner state and feel like you have grown to love yourself and the world, move onto loving other people. See the innocent side of people who are just trying their best, and love that quality in them. Love others as much as you have grown to love yourself. This is the process of removing love restrictions that have been established over years. This doesn’t mean you have to go around hugging everyone you see and saying “I love you.” It is just an inner state of being and relating with life.

When you maintain inner lovingness as a common expression, you are serving God, yourself, and every single person on earth. You are literally saving the world with the positive energy that radiates from your being and up into the field of consciousness.

When you are in the presence of an unconditionally loving person, you will feel a little better than you do when you are not with him or her. This is because of the energy that is radiating off him or her carries calming and healing properties. If you are talking to him or her—and let’s say you are upset—anything you send to him or her in the form of negativity will be soaked up with compassion and released with positive energy. If you are with him or her long enough, the feeling of being upset will automatically begin to subside, and you will feel more at peace because he or she will never send you any forceful energy or put you in a situation that you are uncomfortable. So we yearn to be with loving and caring people. But we are with our own selves the most, and this self can be so overpoweringly loving that you need no one else to feel good.

When is it appropriate to love? Different people will have a variety of answers, but for a person who wants to feel good and sustain it, the answer is that it is always appropriate to love. It doesn’t have to be directed toward specifics. It just needs to be exhibited to be experienced.

Expect nothing from loving others. A person can call you ugly tomorrow, and you can still love him or her or maintain your inner lovingness. Who said you can’t? If you stay in the field of loving energy, the world will change around you. Love is attracted to love. So when you send it out into the universe, the field of consciousness sends it flying back to you without exception.

Once this inner lovingness arises, all internal suffering will be abandoned and fail to play a factor in your life. The only thing experience that will remain is complete and absolute, unwavering happiness, joy, peace, serenity, and reverence for all life, and it will continue to grow.

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